For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
