i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
