That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
