As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
