Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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