Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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