that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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