he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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