a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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