she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He felt like a one man threesome
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
