return my video game
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
