why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
