We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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