may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
