There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
