So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
