he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
