Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
