It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
