I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
