shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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