Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Acid is not a monday night drug
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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