I am spending my child support on dildos
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
