I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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