he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
