So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
