i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
