Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
