Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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