I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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