i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
