my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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