i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
