you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
