You work out of a Hotel?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
