Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
