Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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