I didn't shave. On purpose
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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