If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
