with your own penis?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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