p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
