This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
