i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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