I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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