All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
