Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
