A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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