Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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