Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
