Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
