Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
