He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
