theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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